I wasn’t doing anything really. It was just the usual case of insomnia and vaguely defined worries that had me sitting in front of my computer at 2:00 a.m. I can’t recall exactly how I began to think about Joy Gunter once again but I believe it may have had something to do with the song on Winamp. You see, that song has a very strong memory of Joy attached to it and when I hear it I cannot help but to be whisked back in time to November 1984.

The song in question is “I Love You” by the Climax Blues Band. Joy told me once when we were dating that it made her think of me. I did not understand how then, and I do not understand how even now. Still, because of our conversation about that song it is now inextricably linked to Joy in my mind and likely will be for the rest of my life.

Since the song caused me to think about her I did a Google search and when that did not pan out, turned to classmates.com. I found her relatively easily of course and learned a bit about her in the present day. She is married to Chip, has three kids and is a stay at home mom with a degree. I felt a little disappointed to learn that. The part about being a stay at home mom I mean. To understand why you would have had to know Joy back in the 80′s from my perspective.

Joy was an amazing woman. She was extremely intelligent, but not in a brooding sort of way. No, she was intelligent in a lively, active, conversational way. I recall thinking many times as I listened to her talk that she was far more intelligent than me. I remember feeling proud and a little uneasy at the same time. Besides her intelligence she had a fearsomely quick wit. I won’t give you the details of my favorite example of her comeback ability, but suffice it to say that somewhere a dim witted man in Roebuck probably still regrets engaging her in a battle of wits more than twenty years ago. She also had a wonderfully engaging sense of humor and would draw whimsical little sketches now and then.

So Joy was beautiful, intelligent, quick witted, funny and artistic. Pretty much the total and complete package. I won’t bore you with the details of my epic failure in losing her not once but twice, as I don’t want to sit here and squirm in my discomfort as I type it all out. Suffice it to say that I failed, as teenage boys often will and I lived to regret it as the years went passing by.

The reason I was disappointed to learn that she had earned a degree, but was a stay at home mom, is because I always imagined her writing. If not a novel then at least a regular column in a magazine or newspaper. I thought she would end up writing at least one book, I swear I did. I imagined it would be intelligent, incisive and funny. So to learn that she was apparently not even using her degree to teach and use her intellect in creative ways was a bit saddening to me.

The last time I saw her, I stood right beside her in the registrars office at U.A.B. in 1995. I recognized her instantly and was pleased to see that she was going to college. I got the impression she recognized me but was studiously avoiding eye contact, so I said nothing. Like I said, it was an epic fail of a breakup and I am pretty sure she was still bitter about being treated in such a fashion.

So Joy, if you ever happen upon this post, please know that I think of you from time to time. I think of you now and then when it is bitter cold outside and snowmen come to mind. Remember Frosty? I think of you when I happen by your old house on Scenic View Drive. I think of you at the oddest times and in the strangest places, but I do indeed still think about you. Each time I think about you I wince with regret at how I treated you. I feel a sense of sadness that I never told you what I am telling you now. I am sorry Joy. If I never said it before, please accept it now.

Some women touch you once and leave a mark on you for a lifetime. Joy is one of those women. She was, and likely still is, dazzling and amazing and the reason that snowmen make me smile inside.